First, I read a thought-provoking article by Angela Gifford, in which she laments the way in which people who receive care in their own homes find that even if they are conscientiously cared for, the carers won't do anything that isn't on the plan, however obviously it needs doing. For example, no one would leave a vase of dead flowers on the table in their own home, yet most care workers – even if they have a few minutes to spare – won't think to throw them away, or to wipe up some spilt tea on the tabletop, or even put clingfilm over the sandwiches they have made for lunch, so that they will still be palatable when they are eaten four hours later. None of these tasks are included on the care plan, so they don't get done.
Then, there is the ongoing debate about "trolls", who lurk around social networking sites, forums and bulletin boards, anonymously posting vicious comments about people they dislike or disagree with. It seems that nobody is safe from the attentions of these individuals, who can, astonishingly, come up with nasty things to say about people who are ill; who have committed suicide; who are accident victims. The mindset that allows one to attack in circumstances where compassion is surely the only reasonable reaction, is quite chilling.
And in their different ways, these two examples seem to me symptomatic of the same problem: an inability to empathise with others, to "put yourself in their shoes" and imagine how you would feel if the positions were reversed. We are, of course, looking at opposite ends of a spectrum: the visiting carer is guilty of nothing more than thoughtlessness, whereas one must assume that anyone spreading hate on the internet intends their words to wound, and presumably derives some satisfaction from the knowledge that they are hurting others.
Though interestingly, when Sports Illustrated's Jeff Pearlman decided that he was fed up with anonymous cyber abuse, and tracked down and confronted some of the people who had been posting nasty comments about him, he received apologies, expressions of shame and guilt. One person said he hadn't meant to hurt Pearlman, but "the internet got the best of me".
So perhaps the two types of behaviour are not so far apart after all: maybe cyber bullies do feel remorse when faced with the consequences of their actions, and it is simply the fact that the medium protects them, by conferring anonymity, that enables them to carry on doing what they do without thought.
I hope that is the case, because the one thing we all need, if the Big Society is going to hold us together and ensure care for those of us who are most vulnerable, is a powerful ability to see others as people just like us, and to provide for them the compassion and support that we hope will come our way when we need it in our turn.
we're not a big society yet. In fact as individuals we haven't even hatched out of the safety of our anonymous cocoons which allow us to do dreadful things without fear of reprisals. That said, I do have faith that as with any gestating creature we will eventually reach maturity and acquire the tools necessary to subsist in a big society. This will hopefully be expedited as more and more people come face-to-face with consequences of their actions.
ReplyDeleteI work as a trainer for professional carers, usually in the community. I think its not always about what is or isnt on the care plan. Carers get taught throughout training that they must promote independence at all times. Then on Sova course that it could be abuse if they throw away something without the service users permission, then they get told they must follow the care plan on the risk assessment session, and finally that they should use their initiative during a holistic care discussion. When the carer spots those dead flowers on the coffee table during the spare few minutes of their super busy day I think they think back through some of these things - "should I throw them away?, no might be abuse." Should I ask them?, no they might want to throw their own flowers away" "should I leave them as its not on the plan?" and finally they have to leave them because by now those few minutes have dwindled away and their time is up!!
ReplyDeleteOf course I might be wrong - they might be thoughtless instead! but the impressions I get from carers is that they do care but feel so restricted nowadays with what they can/should do from all directions.